Harry Cleans Out His Mailbox
by BeanTheBean
Summary: On a fine normal sunny day in Leafton, Harry receives a rather unusual gift. It is the gift of an old used mailbox that used to belong to the town's old mayor, Tortimer. And of course, Harry being just as curious as ever decides to open all the mail that is mistakenly left behind in the mailbox.


It was now or never. Do or die. Fate or fury. Harry had arranged the almost perfect card tower. He was only 1 card away from victory. All he needed to do was place those two cards on the top of that triangle shaped card stack. It had to go on without the whole tower collapsing. Unfortunately if it did, that meant the whole stack would fall down. And that also meant that Leafton would get sucked into a giant black hole. In fact, it almost was! The sky over Leafton had turned into a black hole and it was now sucking Leafton up! All the buildings, trees, ocean, everything! Including all of Leafton's residents who were clinging onto the only thing not yet sucked into the black hole, Harry's table with the card stack. Drift had clung onto the left table leg of the table, but clinging onto his leg was Friga followed by Rocket and all the other villagers. "I don't wanna be rude dude…" Drift calmly exclaimed. "BUT HURRY IT UP, WILL YA!?" "I'm trying to be as careful as I can be!" Harry shouted back. "THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SAVE EVERYONE IN LEAFTON, HARRY!" the voice in the sky called. "OTHERWISE IT'S MINE, YA HEAR!?" Harry nervously gulped. In his sweat covered hands he held a 10 of clubs and a Jack of hearts. He nervously looked at the stack of cards, then at Drift and everyone else clinging to each others legs, then at the black hole sky. Concentrating with all his might, he made his two cards into an upside down V shape and very _very_ carefully, placed them on top of the card tower. I didn't fall. "YES!" Harry shouted with glee. All the residents cheered! But then, Harry heard a **THWACK!** That thwack shook the ground, causing the card tower to collapse! **THWACK!** The second time made Drift lose his grip on the table leg and caused him and everyone in Leafton to swirl upwards toward the giant black hole in the sky. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHUUUGH!" everyone screamed as the ascended upwards to their doom! Harry looked on as the horror unfolded itself in front of him. **THWACK!** "WHERE IS IT COMING FROM!?" Harry screamed, knowing it was the end. Suddenly, he looked up into the sky and saw something terrible! **THWACK!**

Isn't this such a cool story? Wouldn't you like to know how it ends? Well unfortunately, that's not quite the story that's going to happen today. In fact, the whole story you just read was not real. It felt real to Harry though. So real that he jolted his head up in shock. But looking around him as he sat upwards in his pathetic sleeping bag, he realized he was back in Leafton where there was no black hole in the sky what so ever. It was another dream scenario. But Harry had been having a lot of chaotic themed dreams like that recently. Looking up in the sky, Harry was glad there was no giant black hole submerged into it. It was one of the best looking clear days Harry had ever seen in Leafton. But suddenly, he heard it. **THWACK!** Right in front of him stood Tom Nook hammering something into the ground. "Tom Nook!" Harry said annoyed as he crosses his arms. Tom Nook looked up. "Oh. Did I wake you?" he said in the worst "Oh I didn't realize that!" voice. "Yes! You're hammering is as annoying as a battering ram bursting through a ventilation system!" Harry accused. "Well give me a second here." Tom Nook grumbled as he hammered once more. **THWACK!** "There. I proudly present your new mailbox." Tom Nook did, in fact, hammer down a brand new mailbox for Harry. It was red but you could hardly tell because it was covered in brownish rust everywhere. The top of the mailbox had been so badly dented because, well, Tom Nook kinda hammered it in a _bit_ too much. If you thought about, it kinda looked like one big red tee they used on golf courses. "Oh ho, that's dandy…" Harry said as he got out of his sleeping bag and proceeded to check all around the mailbox for any self destruct buttons. "NOW HOW ABOUT THE REST OF THE HOUSE YA NIMROD!?" Tom Nook sighed and scratched his nose. "Yes, well, we're having a little… dysfunctional mishap…" he said looking around suspiciously. Harry groaned but managed to cough up a "Thank you anyway." Giving the two thumbs up, Tom Nook left to go and do whatever he does. Harry just stared at his tattered mailbox giving it his squinty eyed expression. "Well it's a start…" he groaned. "I wonder how much can fit in here." He grabbed the rusty handle and pulled down the door. But to his surprise, there were already some unopened letters still inside the thing. "Geez, how old is this?" Harry, taking the first letter out of the rusty mailbox, cringed as his hand touched the old wrinkly letter. He managed to pull it out and blow off all the dust. The front of the letter read: "To: Tortimer. From: Mememaster567." Suddenly, Harry realized that this might of been the mailbox of Leafton's old mayor, Tortimer! Harry looked around just in case someone was watching him and thinking he was stealing mail. Because that's not good.* He carefully opened the envelope and removed the letter. It read:

Dear Tortimer,

Man, I never thought I'd reveal this secret, but I just ADORE your hat! Where did you buy it? Able Sisters don't have it! Who does? If you don't tell me where I can buy that hat, I might just steal it. Ha ha! I kid!

-From Mememaster567

P.S I'm not actually joking about the stealing your hat part though…

"Huh… I guess Tortimer wore very fashionable hats…" Harry guessed. There were plenty more letters still stored in the mailbox, but Harry wanted to save them for another time. But then he thought "Well all the other residents are probably following their 'Creatively Ordinance.' I mean, Alfonso is making comics, Friga had her own show, Graham is writing stories and Chevre is, uh, teaching I guess…" He glanced back at the rusty old mailbox and just shrugged. He opened another letter.

Dear Tortimer,

Yo! Can we build a space station as a Public Works Project? I promise I'll pay a lot for it! I understand how important it is to discover new planets and seek out new life. Plus if a meteor ever strikes, we can go out and stop it! Yeah! So… if you can do it… then do it, ok?

From Rocket

"Oh Rocket…" Harry groaned playfully as he finished off reading the letter. "What do you need?" Harry was taken by surprise when he heard a voice behind him. That voice belonged to Rocket who was standing almost right up to his face. Harry quickly tried to hide to hide the mailbox. He stepped right in front of it. "OH ROCKET!" He said with a big dumb fake grin on his face. "What, uh… what's up?" "Didn't you not call me?" She asked confused. "Um…" Harry hesitated. "How often has anyone complimented you on how awesome you are? Because, well, you are!" Rocket's face froze up. She stared at him blankly. "Wow." she managed to say. "No one's said that except Butch! And that was a _long_ time ago! I AM AWESOME!" Harry continued to fake a smile. But Rocket got suspensions. "What are ya hiding? A new Public Work Project?" Rocket leaned over to see. "Oh! A giant tee? Are you turning Leafton into a golf course?" Harry shrugged. "Welp. You got me!" he chuckled, swinging his arms around. "It reminds me of Tortimer's old mailbox." Rocket said. "I should know. I sent him tons of request letters!" Harry raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well take care. Remember how AWESOME I am!" Rocket punched Harry in the shoulder and took off, leaving Harry and the mailbox. Harry immediately took out all the letters from the mailbox and sure enough, pretty much all of them were from Rocket. The only other letters besides Rocket's were three. One was a bill that looked the oldest of them all. The other was from Brewster and inside was a bunch of coupons for coffee. Harry got so excited until he realized they were _WAY_ expired. The final letter he held in his hands read on the front: "You know what this is…" Fascinated, Harry began to open it up, but to his surprise, it was already open. What could it be? Death threat? Ransom note? Marketing scam? Harry took out the letter and began reading.

Dear Tortimer my good good rival,

You know why you hold this letter in your hands. You know what I want from you. The ore. The purple one with the black spots on it. I don't know where they come from or what they're REALLY called, so I'm asking you to give it because I very much know you have possession of this fine ore. Don't try to hide it anywhere, don't try to give it to someone else. Let's just keep this simple and easy. All you have to do is mail me the thing, or else, well, I'm coming for you. And I hope you do realize that holding onto it will just cause more… what's the word? Ah yes… " _CHAOS_." So really, you have no choice.

From Prof. R

Oddly enough, instead of burning that letter and having a bonfire with all his pals and forgetting everything he just read, Harry just stared at the letter. He reached into his pockets and pulled out the purplish black spotted ore and studied it for a moment. Was that person in the letter referencing this exact ore? Harry shuddered after remembering reading the "CHAOS" part. Was this ore causing problems around town? Harry sighed and groaned as he said "No.. it's just my rotten luck." Shoving the ore back into his pocket, he noticed something else attached to the letter.

P.S If I don't get the ore, no one will! Because this letter will self destruct in 1 year, 50 days, 12 minutes and 56 seconds. Is it 56 seconds? I think so… I might of… oh, wait, yeah. Yeah it was 56 seconds. Nevermind.

Harry looked at the front of the envelope. Using his quick mental math skills, he was able to calculate the date since the letter arrived. It had been a year and 50 days since the letter was delivered. That could only mean that the letter was going to explode TODAY! Without thinking, Harry ran off with the letter as fast as he could possibly run! And the fastest he could possibly run was about as fast as a truck going full on thrust with the gas pedal… but stopping at a red light every 10 seconds. And then waiting another 30 seconds for it to turn green. Harry didn't know big the explosion would be, but he did want to get rid of it. FAST! "Wait a sec!" Harry thought. "I can give it to Reese at Re-tail and ask her to obliterate it!" Harry smiled remembering he was so smart. Suddenly, the letter began beeping. Harry felt a wave of nervousness splash over him. "Is this thing gonna blow!?" Re-tail was too far now. Panicking, Harry quickly ran to the river, upon realizing that if he were to throw it into the river, it may cause a tsunami to occur when it blew up. Harry ran over to Cheri who was busy picking cherries of a local cherry tree. "CHERI!" Harry screamed as he ran over to her. She stopped her cherry picking and looked at the freaked out ballistic Harry. "Cheri imagine this letter in my hand was a bomb, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?" Cheri stared at him and laughed. "Oh Harry!" She chuckled. "I guess I would 'return to sender' if you know what I mean! HAHAHA!" Cheri began laughing at her own joke. Harry, understanding the fact that Cheri takes nothing seriously, jolted around to see if there was anything that could stop this literal ticking time bomb! But before he abandoned all his hope, he saw a shovel shining in the sun leaning against Rocket's house. Harry quickly stole the shovel that was just lying around. He began to dig, hoping he could shove the bomb in the hole. He held the letter in one hand and began shoveling frantically with the other hand somehow. Digging faster and faster, and taking the quick 10 second break now and then, Harry was confident he could do this! Until he heard "5… 4… 3…" He flipped and did the only logical thing at that very second, throw it at a tree. The letter hit the tree and laid there. "1…" The tree exploded. With a sigh of relief, Harry sank into his newly dug hole. He thought about the mailbox and wondered how long the letters were in there. He thought about the space station idea, what kind of hats Tortimer wore, how he missed out on all those Brewsters deals and most importantly, That letter with the purple ore description. Harry thought long and hard about what kind of a morning he had that he lost track of time. But he then heard a thump that made him lose focus. Suddenly, he looked up out of the hole and saw something terrible! ...An angry Rocket. "Why did you steal my shovel dude!?" she hissed.

(*No, but on an honest and serious note to end this story, PLEASE do not steal mail. That is a federal crime and court laws can press charges on you. Remember: "If you steal mail, be sure to leave a trail" or something like that…)

It is August 21st, there are 4 chaotic events until Harry loses his mind...


End file.
